The Cure for Planet Cellulite

Scientists have recently discovered a new planet in our solar system. This planet is 1.87546 billion light years from earth. This new planet is covered with lots of holes and craters giving it a “cottage cheese” look so scientists thought it would be appropriate to name the planet Cellulite. The residents of planet Cellulite were not very healthy and needed earth’s help to find out what was wrong with its people. Earth’s scientists hopped on a space ship and with the invention of light speed were able to fly out to planet Cellulite very quickly. The people of planet Cellulite were breaking out in bumps that glowed in the dark. This was something that the scientists from earth had never seen in a human being. After taking lots of samples from the Cellulitans, and studying the planet and the surrounding stars, the scientists determined that the glow in the dark bumps were caused by a space virus that was growing on the nearby star of Calporous. The virus traveled through the air and when inhaled caused the Cellulitans to glow and the dark bumps to form. Earth’s scientist decided they had to come up with a cure for planet Cellulite before the entire population turned into one big lumpy glow stick.

The Cure

Scientists flew out to the nearby star of Calporous and took some more samples to see if they could isolate the virus that was emanating from the star and causing such havoc among the people of planet Cellulite. A cure for planet Cellulite was not going to be easy to achieve because the isotopes found in the virus were not like anything the scientists had seen before. Separating the phosphorescence property from the actual bug was going to be the key to finding the cure for Cellulite’s people and restore them to their non glowing state. Once the different properties were isolated the next step would be to make a cure for planet Cellulite. They needed to make an anti-serum to counteract the glow in the dark flu. As luck would have it the anti-serum that was developed was phosphorescent and had to be injected through the belly button to have maximum effect. The glow in the dark serum would travel through the veins and zap out every glowing bump on the body. The cure for planet Cellulite was a great success and now the people of planet Cellulite no longer looked like the cottage cheese geography of their planet. The Cellulitans were very grateful for Earth’s help in finding the cure and erected a statue in honor of the great planet.

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