Hello. I was wondering if you could help me out a little bit. I am 15 years old. I weigh 198 lbs. I've been overweight most of my life. I have always been extremely self-conscious. I can't even remember how many things I missed out on in my childhood because of my not feeling good about myself. Hmm...I never really explained this to anyone before. Most of my life, I've been like....a dreamer. I never really DID anything (If that makes sense.) I was too ashamed of myself. Lately I've been wanting badly to change my lifestyle. I have a problem. I don't know how or what to do. I am too young to go to a gym. I'm not around any places to go to classes. I've been trying harder to do something good but it feels like I'm stuck. I really hate being like this. I even refused to met a very good friend of mine because I'm ashamed of myself. There was times when I would lock myself up in my closet and cry. Sometime I wondered what would be worse: Living alone and dying in my closet or having to live around people and be ashamed of myself. They both seem equally terrible. But anyways. I would really appreciate any advice you could give me. I am so depressed and so ashamed of myself. I feel so out of place about everything. I dislike being in public and I can't stand being at a party. I feel like I don't deserve to be there. It's hard to explain. Please help me. I am truly desperate. Anything would help.
It may feel a little hard to explain, but for me, it's not hard at all to understand. I'm doing this because I was there.
Now, here's the good news: You've got about THREE whole lifetimes left. Your next 15 years starts "right now". It's your decision, to look back and have more regrets and feel the same as you do now (or worse)...or, well, not. Your decision.
I'm actually going to suggest that you make one more trip to your closet (no, not kidding). Only this time, while you're in there, make yourself aware of how small and dark it is. How isolated and lonely you feel. Imagine being there every minute of every day. Day after day. Weeks. Months. YEARS. Seriously. Nothing changes. You never get to move around.
Now....the truth is, there are THOUSANDS of animals all over this country who are abused just like this. Dogs tied up on too short chains, kept in crates, rooms, teeny back yards; birds in cages with no toys, no interaction, no room to spread their wings. Cats who are thrown away, left behind, abused. Hamsters/gerbils, rats, ferrets, you name it...little lives that trust us, depend on us and need us...let down and hurt.
Make a difference in YOUR life by making a difference in theirs. You are not too young to volunteer at a shelter or preserve or do something for any number of animal care places in your town.
You'll get out of your life (as it is now) and meet new people, have something to focus on and keep you active, you'll be learning new things and trust me, you'll feel better about EVERYTHING.
If you can't do this or don't want to do this, then do what you WANT to do! Environment? Politics? Find a cause and put yourself in it. Don't be thinking so much about "you" in public, think more about a "need" being met.
Now, as for the weight - it's pretty obviously emotional eating (right?). Well, that's also going to resolve itself with your pursuit of a higher purpose, but until then, I've got a site (just for US!) that will help.
No sales, No promotions, No signing in...
I'm here to talk to. Anytime. You can also reach me personally from my site's email.
Please trust me - you ARE worth so much more than you realize right now. You just need to leave the closet and SEIZE THE DAY!
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