Motivational issue

Question
My stepfather (mom's recent husband) is severely overweight and has seen my mom go through dramatic weight loss through surgery.  He's failed at diet and exercise in the past, and continues to eat unhealthily.  Recently he's had gall bladder surgery.  When my mom offers advice or suggestions to his diet, or even to exercise with him, he gets offended and defensive.  What is the best way to approach this man about his weight problem, without hurting his feelings?

Answer
Let's take a look at this from a different perspective for a moment. If someone approached you, repeatedly, criticizing your hair and insisting you do something about it; or went to your mom and told her she really should get her nose 'fixed', how defensive do you think you'd be?

Sometimes we just know what we need to change (or fix) and we do it.  Like your mom did.  Other times we may not feel we need fixing, changing or worse, to be told that we do.

When it comes to your step dad, he knows he's overweight and unhealthy and at this point he's very likely refusing to do anything just out of determination to not be 'told what to do'.  

Let up on it, but encourage proper eating by setting example and doing your best to keep the 'bad' stuff out of the house.  

Positive reinforcement is much more motivating than negative, which is how all this advice is being taken. It's not easy to change HIS ways, and it won't be any easier to change yours, but start saying nice things (even if it's stuff you have to really look for).  Anything from complimenting how nice his smile is to how you're amazed at how smart he is about this or that.
  No lying - really mean it!

If you can change your approach, then you can expect him to change his eating habits.  Right?

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