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Effects of long-term Poor diet


Question
Hello!  I am concerned about a friend who has a very poor diet and I'm trying to convince her she is on a path to destruction.  When she about 5 yrs old, she got sick after eating some beef, so she hasn't eaten any meat since then - she is now 33.  That would be okay, but the ONLY "vegetable" she consumes is french fries.  The rest of her diet includes bread, chips, cheese, plain pasta, and sweets - literally.  I've known her about 12 years and I have NEVER seen her eat anything but these things.  For example, at a Mexican restaurant she eats chips (with extra salt) cheese dip and flour tortillas.  At an Italian restaurant she will eat plain spaghetti with parmesan cheese.  At other restaurants she will order french fries and/or garlic bread or dinner rolls.  At home she has a steady diet of bread and chips, and maybe the occasional diet bar, but the kind with nougat and chocolate.  She doen't drink coffee, only water and Mountain Dew.  And she eats most kinds of sweets, like cake, cookies, candy bars, ice cream, etc.  No eggs, no salads, no fish, no milk, no vegetables, NOTHING green.  What's amazing, and what convinces her that she's not hurting herself, is that she appears to be very healthy.  Her skin is clear, her eyes are bright, and she has more energy than anyone I know.  She may struggle with an extra 10 or 20 pounds at times, but she loses it by starving herself or using phentermine she gets from a diet doctor.  She says that she has only 2 or 3 bowel movements a week!!  I'm certainly no expert, but I'm convinced that this is going to catch up with her, in terrible ways.  It may appear to be fine in her 30s, but what about 20 years from now?  It's got to be extremely detrimental to her overall health and longevity.  What is your opinion?

Answer
Dear Ginger,

The human body has the amazing capacity to function well on precious little of the nutrients a healthy person needs.  Your friend may be getting the vitamins and minerals she needs to prevent deficiencies so she isn't sick.  She may also be getting what she needs from substituting chicken for beef, cheese for milk, fruits for vegetables--there aren't really certain foods one has to eat: variety is what's important and you have listed quite a few foods.  Even though you see what she does not eat, we could probably do a nutrient breakdown and see that in her weekly diet she does get an average of enough of most nutrients.

Long term she may have osteoporosis from a lack of calcium, high blood pressure from a diet high in sodium and low in potassium, and heart disease from consuming too many fatty foods.  Until that time, it's all but impossible to convince someone they should change their behavior for the future.

That said, you aren't going to be able to help her, since she isn't asking for help.  More than likely, you are going to make yourself frustrated and perhaps cause a rift in your relationship if you continue to focus on her terrible diet.  I can so relate to where you are coming from as a "helper" person myself.  Many of us find ourselves in a situation of wishing we could get a friend to stop smoking or a relative to stop drinking or an acquaintance to visit their doctor. Frankly, it's not our place to tell them how to take care of themselves the way we think they should, and if you are going to continue being friends with her, you're going to have to find a way to get past this.  

You might want to let her know that you are concerned, but you respect her enough to let her live her own life.  I'm sure you will also let her know that you will be there to help and support her if the time does come that she decides to eat healthier.
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